May 21, 2019
By: H. Elizabeth Williams
Jeffree Star is livid.
And, now that we’ve got your attention ladies and gentleman, so are we. Here’s why.
Since the dawn of time, women have been born into the most evil depths of hell. Their role? To roam Earth and torment men’s lives if they do not succumb to their superiors.
Could you imagine?
Surely not. Except, the only truth to be extracted from that statement is that we are from the depths of hottest hell, and it often feels that our only purpose is to serve.
These ways have been used to control us since childhood. Ladies, do you remember in preschool: being surrounded by toys that all had to do with cleaning? The whole kitchen and baking set, the fake mop to clean the tile floors while the boys got to use the building blocks and such. I remember being handed all these Disney princess dolls, while I asked why I couldn’t play with the superheroes and cowboys like the boys. My daycare teacher told me to just deal with it or get nothing at all. I may or may not have thrown a tantrum, but that’s besides the point.
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Here’s an example of the cleaning toys I am talking about.
Speaking of tantrums, ever notice how, when justifying a child's misbehavior, no one ever simply reasons that “girls will be girls” but presumes that she’s merely hormonal or unable to take control of her emotions.
The list of things a young lady can’t do is almost endless, including the infamous instruction of sitting like a lady. Many learn from a young age that masculinity comes with freedom; femininity comes with restrictions.
Why are we insistent on teaching young girls that boys are mean to them because they like you? With that drilled into their heads, they’ll grow up under the impression that their grown boyfriends hit them because of love. I went through that myself, and it sucks.
I once asked a girl if she's ever been harassed and her response was “not really; just normal stuff… catcalling, following, groping etc.” THAT'S how normalized rape culture is. We should be worried that girls think that hyper sexualization is simply a normal part of growing up, since it’s ‘not a big deal; it happens to every woman.’
THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
Moving on, what is the deal with the dress code? I would see boys strut around school with no shirt, or a “shirt” that wasn’t even covering their nipples but my SHOULDER is showing and the whole world stops to insist I get a form of punishment, which is usually a weeks detention and public scrutiny.
HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
Society: We’re gonna make you wear a bra, but like don’t let us know it’s there. It’s a secret… that everyone knows. Shhhh!
During my seventh year, there was a history teacher who made it his life mission to dress code middle school girls. He was so creepy. I swear the guy never blinked and it made all the girls so uncomfortable, to the point we begged the counselor to switch out of the class but, of course, we were passed off as “being over-dramatic.” He would full on squat down and pull out a measuring tape, practically having his hand inside a girls skirt or on her inner thigh next to her shorts in order to see if it met the code…
Dress code is teaching girls that they are the problem when men have sexual thoughts about them for showing some shoulder. End of sentence.
Speaking of appearances, why don't we ever talk about how movies condition girls to associate glasses and curly hair with ugliness? That is so damaging to young girls who grow up seeing girls who look like them always being the “before” of every makeover.
You are BEAUTIFUL. Curly hair is unique, and many would die for natural curls like yours. Honestly, I tried to fake bad vision at the eye doctor just so I could wear glasses; to be cute and smart, so PLEASE don’t believe that gibberish that is so often forced down us. If anything, we’re jealous.
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Princess Mia’s ‘makeover’. Credit: Tumblr
Ever notice whenever we women wear a nice dress, the whole world suddenly thinks its their business and asks “who are you dressed up for?”
… Me. My damn self.
“You’re wearing too much makeup.” Well, Karen, I just got my new Blood Sugar Palette by Jeffree Star and I wanted to define the features of me being a true QUEEN so please.. Step aside and mind your own business.
Whenever someone tells you to not do something because it’s not ‘ladylike’ and that ‘boys won’t find it attractive’, … keep doing it. I had a teacher once tell me not to debate in a politics class because the boys wouldn’t like me if I kept proving them wrong. If a man gets upset that a woman knows more than him, feed off of that. So go ahead, talk about me behind my back and spread rumors, just so no-one will ever find out that a girl beat you at a silly debate. It’s quite entertaining.
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credit: Tenor.com
Let’s all hold that confidence.
It seems as if girls are completely ignored for their strengths. Remember when a teacher would ask for four strong BOYS to carry some things out of the classroom. Come on, I beat all the boys in my PE class at the mile. You boys sit down, my girls and I can do this and still look bomb. You’re not doing us a favor by offering to do the task so we “won’t break a nail,” you’re trying to continue the process of making us look weak and that won’t stand.
The same goes for sports. I’ve heard the saying “Girls can’t play football”. Listen here darling, I am not afraid of getting my hands dirty. I will finish a game, engulfed in blood, sweat and tears, if it means I can win. And I’ll look bomb doing it too.
Being a woman is being a survivor. We have literally been trained since we could walk on how to survive something as little as walking home from school. Don’t believe me? Well, here’s some lessons most girls are taught before the age of 12:
If you get lost or scared, go up to a woman with children to ask for help. Don't trust any strange man who offers to help you.
Never let an attacker take you to a second location. He will probably assault or kill you.
Always watch your drink. Never leave it alone, even with a friend.
If you’re alone in a taxi or getting harassed, pretend to call a male relative or boyfriend. Predators are more likely to back off if there's another male involved.
Make code words with you're friends to protect each other. Stick together, even if you know everyone in the room.
Scratch your attacker with your nails and don't shower until you’ve been examined after the assault. Never let any girl or woman walk alone at night.
If you’re cornered, go for the groin, instep, stomach or nose. Fight tooth and nail to get free and then run. Hopefully he’ll stop chasing you.
If you get catcalled keep your head down and keep walking. If you respond, he might attack you.
If someone attacks you, simply yell ‘fire!’; People will probably pay more attention.
Sound familiar? Thought so.
I remember asking my mom if I could go over to my friend’s house, which would be answered with a hard ‘no’. However, if my younger brother wants to go on a trip to a different state, he is met with: “yes, of course, sweetie. Have fun.”
The same thing goes for relationships:
Situation 1:
*brother gets a girlfriend*
Dad: ‘good job, Son!’
Situation 2:
*I get a boyfriend*
Dad: ‘ who the hell is he?!’ *buys gun*
I am tired of hearing “you can’t wear that,” “you can’t do that,” “it’s because he’s a boy,” and “that’s not lady like.”
And, who can forget the classic:
“Those shorts are too short.”
Wow, what a coincidence! So is my patience.
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credit: Tenor.com
I have had enough of women having to drag themselves through life surrounded by all these stereotypes and misogynistic ideologies. We create LIFE. Why are we not being praised for being the gems we are? Without us, you would not be here. We could take over, and some men are nothing short of scared of us. It seems a select few want to condition us from birth; they seem determined to convince us that our place really is in the home; in the kitchen; giving birth to children, day in, day out.
We don’t want that. We are better than that. We want men to respect us. For us to be equal. It seems a pretty great compromise to make instead of…world domination or such issues. The norm.
Some men don’t want us to know and think for on our own. So, we must take it upon ourselves. As I said before, we create life. We must protect our children, girl, boy or whatever gender they are, and raise them properly. If your little girl wants to play with action figures and play as cowboys, who are you to tell them no? It’s perfectly okay. Teach your boys to be respectful to women, and that they are equal to their female classmates. Such toxic masculinity will no longer be tolerated. Teach them to not get defensive if a girl beats them in a sport or game. That it’s okay to lose. If they want to play with the princesses instead of the cowboys, let them.
Since we all came from a woman and got our name from a woman and our game from a woman. I wonder why we TAKE from our women, why we RAPE our women, do we HATE our women? I think it’s time we KILLED for our women, be real to our women, try to HEAL our women, because if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies that are make the babies and since a man can’t make one, he has NO RIGHT to tell a woman when and where to create one. -Tupac Shakur.
Here is to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. We hold so much power in our hands, but hesitate to unleash it. Well, sisters. I believe it’s time.
There is something far more dangerous in this world than a humiliated man: a nasty woman.
Beware.